Part 2: Making Peace with Your Fertility by Facing your Fears

Posted on May 30, 2012 Heidi Brockmyre, L.Ac.

This post is a follow-up to my last post about finding peace by uncovering fears and anxieties that arise with the practice of letting go. When we acknowledge that we don’t have complete control over a situation, it is unsettling and frustrating. In trying to gain control and resist acceptance, we often make matters worse. Maybe we stay up past midnight Googling until we’re crazy, a habit that’s neither healthy for our fertility health or mental health. Or perhaps we eat 3 donuts or drink too much wine. Maybe your mind can’t stop obsessing. Maybe it takes a toll on your relationship.

So how do you feel empowered when ultimately something you want so badly is out of your hands? How do you soothe your fears and anxieties?

Channel that energy! Do something this week that you’ve always been afraid of doing! Face your fear!

Are you afraid of heights? Try hiking, rock climbing, or riding a roller coaster.
Afraid of speaking or performing in front of others? Try karaoke. Or get your friends together and speak about something to them. Join a Toastmasters club.
Afraid of dancing? Go dance!

Think of something new that you’ve always wanted to do but felt too chicken to go through with it. You will feel so invigorated and empowered. You’re sure to gain a new sense of control over your happiness. By transforming the anxious frustrated fearful energy that’s gathered with a loss of control, you get in touch with your power and explore yourself on a deeper level.

Last year, I went through a very emotional time that left me feeling alone and isolated, as if I was the only one in the world going through a difficult period. Of course this wasn’t true, but that’s how it feels when you’re struggling. I craved a sense of belonging and community, but felt withdrawn and shy from the overwhelming stress and depression from the situation. I forced myself to join a Capoeira class with my son. (Capoeira is a Brazilian martial arts that combines dance, music, culture, community and martial arts.)

Although most sports come easily to me, Capoeira humbled me as I struggled to learn each movement. It felt and looked like I had two left arms and two right feet. Capoeira involves a sort of dance fighting inside a group circle while the others sing and watch. I had heart palpitations every time I had to go in the circle from performance anxiety. I feared looking silly and making mistakes. A sense of discomfort came with being the center of attention, especially in such a raw vulnerable state.

But at the end of each class, I possessed a renewed sense of power. Although I had limited control over other stress-inducing circumstances of my life, I proved to myself that I had the strength to face fears, learn something new, and meet new people. I felt weak and vulnerable when I started, but it is often from that place that we unlock a magnificent strength lying dormant within.

Without that emotional struggle, I may never have joined the Capoeira group. A year and a half later, I have many new friends, I love going in the circle, and at 35 years old, I’m physically stronger than I’ve ever been! I even learned how to do a back-flip!

Harness the power of your emotions instead of internalizing them. Transform the energy to and prevent damage to your fertility health that comes with stress. Embrace every opportunity that is born of this struggle.

1.) Reflect on a fear you’d like to overcome.
2.) Make a plan to face that fear.
3.) Schedule it in your calendar and make it happen!

Please share your plan to overcome a fear. I’d love to hear it! You’ll inspire others.

Click here for a free introductory sample of the Zen Fertility Online Program including a Zen Fertility Yoga video, a guided fertility visualization download, relationship activity, and stress reduction technique..