Sunday, May 20

Living Your Dream

Posted on October 20, 2010 by Heidi Brockmyre, L.Ac.

Living Your Dream

Our hearts set themselves on dreams we create throughout our lives. Maybe you envisioned these dreams when you were a child and they rooted themselves deeply within you ever since. Maybe they were born at a later point in your life. They've probably taken on new shapes as life's experiences molded them into something that still resembles the original dream but in a newly relevant form.

I help people achieve the dream of starting a family. You may have dreamed of this since you were a child. The dream can mean something different for everyone. And none of us know when, with whom, and how our family dream will take shape.

When I was a child, I dreamed of being a "runner and a writer and a veterinarian" when I "grew up". I still have to remind myself that I actually have "grown up"! I am not a veterinarian. In fact, I don't even own a pet. But I do practice healing and prefer that my patients walk upright and talk. I also run and am obviously writing. (Although I couldn't have dreamed of writing a blog at that time since they didn't exist.)

My dreams came to be in ways I couldn't have imagined when my heart first delighted in creating them. My life's experiences prepared me and allowed me to get in better touch with why I wanted those dreams. I didn't know this was exactly the path I wanted to follow, but there has always been some consistent themes along the way that spoke to the essence of who I am. While other dreams fell away as I discovered they were motivated by external influences.

Traveling opened my mind to other philosophies and an appreciation for connecting with people from all walks of life. Communing with nature put me in touch with nature's gifts for healing ourselves. Writing developed my ability to communicate and to cultivate my artistic abilities, for healing is an art. My numerous mistakes have made me more empathetic. Competing in sports taught me about the body and gave me the drive to accomplish goals. Motherhood motivates me to do my best and teaches me patience. All of these attributes have proven indispensable as I walk my path as a healer and help others to conceive. Without this array of experiences, my healing practice, if I even had one, would not fulfill me as deeply in the way it does now. Nor would I have prepared myself as thoroughly.

I didn't realize at the time where I was going. I was simply fulfilling my spirit. Our paths rarely lay themselves before us precisely the way we anticipate them. But if we remain unattached to the outcome, they often present themselves in more beautiful, fulfilling, and wondrous ways than we ever could have imagined or planned.

We don't always need to know exactly where we're going. And there's no way of knowing if we'll definitely get there until we are there because of variables that are out of our control. But we should know why we want to go there. Is it because we think we should seek that dream. Is it because someone else wants us to seek that dream? Or does it fulfill an innate sense of purpose? Does it speak to your heart? Do you feel it in your core?

If your dream touches the very essence of who you are, what about your dream resonates so deeply within you? The more you're in touch with how your dream sings to you, the more fulfilled you may be as you pursue it. You can manifest pieces of what that dream means to you on a daily basis. Regardless of the outcome, you can seek the fulfillment of what that dream offers you in every moment.

As you embark on your journey to fulfill your dream of being a parent, it is important to get thoroughly in touch with why you want to be a parent. There is no right or wrong answer. It's obviously a very personal decision and the answers are unique to each individual.

Clarifying what being a parent means to you can help you put your actions and thoughts in better alignment with accomplishing that dream. Understanding why you want a baby will help you to seek fulfillment in similar ways along your journey instead of living in a state of constant dissatisfaction until that dream comes true.

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” -Marsha Norman

Practice:

Part 1.) Take out your journal and answer the following questions:

When did you first dream of having a baby?

Why do you want to be a parent? (Explore all the reasons you want to be a parent. To nurture? To fulfill a familial duty? To pass on your legacy? To reinforce the bond between you and your spouse?)

How will being a parent change your life (for the better and the worse)?

How will being a parent fulfill me?

What positive traits about yourself do you feel being a parent will accentuate?

Part 2.) Reflection

Read over your answers to the previous questions and reflect upon them for a moment. Think about how you can incorporate aspects of how being a parent fulfills you in your present day life. For instance, if you feel having a baby will strengthen the bond between you and your spouse, imagine ways you can strengthen the bond in your relationship now. If you long to nurture, think of ways you can nurture now. Perhaps you can nurture your friends or family, a niece or friend's child, a pet, a plant, a co-worker, or yourself.

Think of how those positive traits of yours that you think parenthood will accentuate can be expressed in your daily life.

Is the way you your life currently in alignment with the reasons why you dream of raising a child?

Journal any more insights you've developed through reflecting.

Part 3.) Affirmations

If you've discovered discrepancies between why you dream of being a parent and how you are living your life currently, write affirmations to help you bring your dreams and actions into alignment. For example, if you dream that having a baby will strengthen your bond with your spouse, yet you currently feel distant from one another, an appropriate affirmation may be something like, "I contribute to the healthy growth of my relationship." If you long to nurture, yet don't feel very nurturing in your current relationships, then an affirmation may be, "I nurture my loving relationships."

Write and repeat your affirmations several times.

Thank you for participating in this exercise. I welcome you to share your experience with others. What ways did you find you could fulfill your dream of what being a parent means to you in the present?

In Good Health,

Heidi Brockmyre, L.Ac.